Why would a 13-year-old need therapy?

Some parents worry that therapy at 13 means they've failed, or that it'll label their kid. Neither is true. Getting support early, before things snowball, is one of the most protective things a family can do.

Why early support matters

• About 70% of mental health challenges start in childhood or youth (CMHA Ontario).
• Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in children and youth, and they're treatable (Canadian Paediatric Society).
• Among Canadian youth aged 16 to 18 followed from 2019 to 2023, the share reporting fair or poor mental health rose from 7% to 22% (Statistics Canada). Many of those struggles start earlier.

Common reasons a 13-year-old starts therapy

• Worry, nervousness or panic, including about school or the future
• Low mood, irritability or losing interest in things
• Anger or outbursts that feel hard to control
• Friendship problems, exclusion or bullying, online or in person
• Self-esteem and body image
• Big changes: starting junior high or high school, moving, divorce or loss
• Family conflict
• Questions about ADHD, autism or learning differences

Signs it might be time

• Fears or worries that get in the way of school, sports or friendships, frequent anxiety, or frequent headaches, stomach aches or tiredness (CPS)
• Symptoms of depression lasting two weeks or more, such as irritability, withdrawing, changes in sleep or appetite, or low confidence (HealthLink 811)
• Your gut says something's changed and talking at home isn't helping

Any talk of suicide or self-harm needs help right away: call or text 9-8-8, or 911 in an emergency. For what to do at home, see How to help a teenager with anxiety and depression.

What therapy looks like at 13

• Conversation, not a couch. Talking, practical skills for big feelings, and working through real situations from their week.
• Their pace. A good therapist builds trust first and doesn't force topics.
• Privacy with clear limits. The therapist explains what stays private and what parents will hear. In Nova Scotia there's no fixed age for consenting to therapy; it depends on the young person's understanding (see Can teens go to therapy without parental consent?).
• Parents in the loop in ways the teen agrees to, often a check-in rather than a recap of every session.

How to bring it up with your 13-year-old

• Pick a calm moment, not right after a fight.
• Lead with what you've noticed and that you care: "You've seemed stressed lately and I want you to have someone in your corner."
• Normalize it: lots of people see a therapist, the same way they'd see a coach.
• Give them a say in who they see. A short consultation lets them check the fit (see How to choose a therapist).

Frequently asked questions

About the author

Courtney Cribb, MEd, RCT, CCC, is a Registered Counselling Therapist in Nova Scotia who works mostly with teens and young adults. Her research on teens and sexting is published in the Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy. She offers online sessions by video or phone across Nova Scotia and, where permitted, elsewhere in Canada. Learn about teen therapy with Courtney.